Post #44 – Someone is ALWAYS Watching

Disclaimer – The following post is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease or sickness. Please use caution if any parts apply to your specific situation and contact a health care professional for further advice. 

 

Hi everyone!

When I first started this blog a year and half ago, I had something on my chest I needed to get rid of. I had quite a bit of bottled up information, emotions, desire to help people suffering with what I had gone through, and a need for a therapeutic outlet for my medical anxiety. DudeWithPOTS has allowed me to do that. A blog was a strange concept for me. Why the hell would I want to share my thoughts and vulnerabilities with anyone other than my wife. I also was known for having atrocious writing skills (ask my buddy who I once sold an essay to how that turned out for him haha). But with the help of an incredible (but unintended) motivational push from a friend, and Rachel encouraging me for several months prior, I decided I just had too much great material not to share with the world. You guys needed me. 😉 Anyways, all of this to say that I have accomplished what I originally intended to provide. My POTS journey is well documented now, and I have created a safe place for me to share my wisdom. I will continue to blog, but it will be whenever I have something to write about. That could be one week, or 6 months. But I will always be active and available for questions anytime anyone with POTS needs help!

My Current POTS Status – I have reached a point in my recovery that I would consider the pinnacle of my return to my prior health. I am currently on two medications. A beta blocker and a low dose anti-depressant for nerve pain. Over time I hope to experiment with getting off those too. I still suffer from occasional bouts of anxiety, but I am learning to deal with it better and better. I normally just sit on the couch and look worried until Rachel asks what is wrong and then I tell her why my knee pain is going to lead to my leg needing to be amputated. I have virtual appointments with my doctor in Seattle which means I never have to make that drive over (about 4 hours). My biggest symptoms continue to be headaches, but I know lots tricks to help them out.

OK ENOUGH HOUSEKEEPING. Here is the real blog post.

 

 

Someone is ALWAYS Watching

The year is 2009. I am a junior in high school. Check that, I am a COOL junior in high school. I am at basketball practice. I run out into the hallway to get a drink of water from the fountain. It was a particularly hard day at practice (probably drained like 50 pts on my brother in a scrimmage). Figuring I was alone in that hallway, I said a sentence that went something along the lines of, “Crap I am F$#!@ tired.” Now this is where the story gets tragic. I was not alone. Soon as I was done letting out my favorite swear words, a nearby table shifted and a little girl ran out from under it, sprinting down the hallway to the main office where her mom was probably waiting. The way I see I, that was the first time she had ever heard that word and she started using it around the house. She is now homeless and owes the IRS 7 million dollars for embezzling money in an offshore account. Ok probably not, but my point is a simple one. Someone is ALWAYS watching.

They always said this growing up. “The younger ones are looking up to you!”, “Be a role model”, “Set a good example”. Well thanks for those tips. This is just simple logistics. The older you are the cooler you are. Coolness = age x how much money you have. All jokes aside, younger folk are always looking up to older ones. And here is the big take away, this doesn’t end once we grow up.

The business world. The sports world. The recreation world. The “at home with family” world. Someone is always watching. Learning from you. Determining their own habits based off what you do. Making choices from behaviors they saw from you. And I don’t mean little jimmy smoking a cigarette cause he saw you do it in the back alley (although shame on you). I mean at ALL stages off life.

Rachel and I do this. Oh she’s playing a fun game on her phone? I want to download it on my phone too, it better be appropriate! Rachel is working out on the bike? I should workout too, gotta make healthy choices! Rachel is eating a slice of cake? I want a piece too, you only live once right!

My friends and I do this. Cole just updated his resume on LinkedIn? I should update mine too! Cole is eating Mcdonald’s again for the 45th time this year? How do I even know that? I don’t know but I am hungry all the sudden…

The examples get deeper.

Strangers and I do this. At Church a while back, I had exactly $7 in my pocket. I won’t get into the discussion of appropriate amounts to tithe, but I was going to give $2 so that I could still have money left to buy some tacos on the way home. As the offering bag came by, I saw a very poor, struggling handicapped lady pull out her dirty and damaged purse. As she opened it up, I looked over and saw a crunched up $1 bill laying there. It was literally all she had. Without pausing, she pulled it out and gave it away. She didn’t know anyone was actually watching, but I saw. I then made a choice to give my entire $7 (Jesus was blown away by my generosity) and I went home and made a sandwich.

Integrity is the standard a person holds themselves to when no one is watching. Funny thing is, someone is ALWAYS watching. So your standards should be sky high.

Thanks for reading! Remember to contact me with any questions, comments, or ideas for blogs!

 

Jarod Gunning – Dude with POTS.

 

P.S. I have looked up to a lot of people in my life. Lots of examples, both good and bad. All equally important in shaping me. That’s how I justify my screw ups 😉

 

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